I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My friends, they love my intelligence
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
