I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize