He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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