you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
