Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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