Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
