I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize