You really coming over, don't trick.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
