she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We left an ass print on the piano.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
