everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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