You're completely useless in the revolution.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
