fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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