Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
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They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
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So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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