Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
