I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I currently don't understand fingers.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
