I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
