I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
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Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
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About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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