we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
