if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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