i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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