You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
