Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
