I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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