I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
