You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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