Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
These tits shall not be calmed
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
