Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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