he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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