I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
