And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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