My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
