So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize