I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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