I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
