Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
