Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I am full of burrito and curiosity
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
