Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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