Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You have to summon your inner elephant
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
