Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
