Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
