I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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