its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
