I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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