My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
