I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
