WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
