I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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