I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We left an ass print on the piano.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
