its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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