it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
