uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
