Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
