I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize