is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
