Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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