is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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