I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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