You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
