we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
