Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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