Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
pop tarts are not kleenex
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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