Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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