Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
only if we run a train.
done.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
