if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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