Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
