she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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