Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
