when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
