So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
