do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize